So much has run through my head while contemplating all this ...that I couldn't catch up with writing it down fast enough. But, I will attempt to write down what came to me ...not as a dream, and not claimed as a vision. I don't know what to call it, but here it is ...and I don't know what to think of it. Perhaps I had too much corn last evening, but perhaps not.

Perhaps I have been contemplating much on my lack of understanding.

I had envisioned Heaven to be a place where we are all whole ...as in, completely healthy.

But, then I read that there will be the Tree of Life ...and the leaves of the tree for the healing of the nations.

Now, as individuals, we believe that salvation is through Jesus ...if we adhere to what the Bible reads. And I've viewed the truth of our individual salvation as a personal choice.  Yet, I read in the Book of Revelation of the healing of the nations ...not individuals, but nations.

I didn't think we needed healing once in Heaven ...and I also thought that a nation is defined as a large aggregate of people united by common descent, history, culture, or language, inhabiting a particular country or territory.

Well, Heaven will include God, angels, and a large aggregate of people ...but won't the aggregate be merely people who are believers, no longer merely being united by language, religion, or political affiliation?  And will we be united by common descent ...or is it decent??  Anyway, we'd hope our descendants were decent ...yet, that doesn't matter here as we are all to have in common our belief in Jesus.  And our language will reflect that also ...no more using God's name in a contrary fashion. Lastly, we will obviously inhabit the same territory ...those in Heaven, that is. Some of you'd prefer to think that other particular place doesn't exist, as a loving God would have nothing of it, yet that is a conversation for another time ...and one I've already put forth, somewhere in a blog like this.

So, in Heaven, we'd be just one big happy family, or nation ...right??  But, conveniently, I left out the 's' in my splendid imagination.  The Bible says ...the healing of the nations.

I'm reminded of when my wife and I decided that there was something we deemed important enough to want to discuss with our children ...and we'd begin with a build up, thinking they'd understand more if we put it in perspective.  And as we'd begin, they'd ask so many question in reference to what was being mentioned in the build up ...that I'd forget what my main point was, and I'd have to ask my wife.  But, when I turned to ask her ...she wasn't there anymore.  

Kind of funny ...I just did this very thing to myself.  I had such a build up that I forgot my own main point.

I will try to salvage what I can.  I imagined that I was entering Heaven.  And it was no surprise that I was entering there because of Jesus ...nothing to do with my own doing.

But, I also had a sense that something was about to be explained to me ...something that I had to understand.  As it was, I was entering Heaven, but I was still going to remain a human ...and my mind would not be wiped clean (perhaps this was not just too much corn the night before, but some image of e-mails that were recovered ...yes, politics does have some effect upon our lives, and I was not exempt from that thought also creeping in, corny or not).

Now, I don't have any e-mails that are so personal ...but, something can be said for our personal things that perhaps we don't want others to know about.  And even if I try to stay clean on the internet ...it may be of some comfort (in numbers) that I know of many others that also watch that TV show.  What is that show that I am referring to ...well, considering that we are one of a strange breed of Homeschoolers who don't have TV hook-up, it's safe to say we don't watch that show.  That was just an example ...yet, though that one example may not apply, it doesn't exclude my family or me from all aspects of sinful life. Whether it is e-mails, the internet, TV, or whatever ...it doesn't matter so much who finds out, or knows.  God knows.

And God knows what I have to understand.

Just because certain things aren't considered criminal by our present society, doesn't mean they are holy, or wholly acceptable.

There are things our minds get involved in, and things we allow ourselves to get even more committed to.  I imagine myself trained by tradition to say I am going to lay my crown at Jesus' feet.  Any crown I can imagine I would have, I'd think would be rather superficial. But, in reality, there are things I either knowingly, or unknowingly make to rule more of my life than it should.  I give things value, that have little or no real value. If I say this is not true, I am trying to fool myself ...as I am not so ignorant to think God doesn't know.

I may have been an insignificant part (or participant in) of something, as I viewed it ...yet, others may have taken it much further.  Perhaps I didn't realize it would lead to that ...or perhaps, at the time, I felt the end justified the means.  

I also often wondered what it meant when Jesus said some of us will call Him ...Lord, but He will say He never knew us.  I never personally feared this for myself, or my family ...as we are fairly clear with (perhaps not with our walk, but) our relationship with Him.  We know that in spite of ourselves, He loves us ...and that love does not excuse us, but since we know we are messed up and need Him, it so happens that though He doesn't need us, He still loves us.  I imagine that when He referred to not knowing some people ...that it is clear to me that He knows everything about all of us.  It is even more than, as the Bible says, that Adam knew his wife, followed by the mention that Eve then conceived.  Somewhat, we have an idea that they had to know each other (if you can conceive what I'm trying to say). 

And I believe that when Jesus said He never knew them ...it will be because that person never seriously knew Jesus.

Now, I know Jesus ...though I know we could never know Him nor conceive all that He is.  And it is also not that I could ever know others the way Jesus knows them ...but rather, that He knows how I struggle, and at times hold back when I shouldn't. I imagine a huge bushel basket of leaves waiting for me ...and me being told that the first bushel was gathered for me, but I'd have to gather the next for myself ...and the next, and next, if necessary.

I'm referring to the basket of leaves from the Tree of Life.  If I'm to be living my life, my eternal life, with Him ...certainly, I can't carry all the bitterness and disappointment with me.  Like I said, I thoroughly believe I will still be human ...and I won't suddenly change.  I kind of think He also wants me to understand.

Perhaps I may say I'm ready to give it all over to God ...but, how can I, if I don't fully know all that I'm holding inside.  I can say that as soon as I get to Heaven, all that won't matter any longer ...but, it has been so much a part of me for longer than I perhaps realize. (This is somewhat the message I also got when I read Mitch Albom's book, entitled, The Five People You Meet in Heaven.)

I see this in the United States of America ...the nation of freedoms and liberties.  There are so many things going on wrong ...very wrong.  I can deceive myself into thinking that once God makes things all right that all those bad emotions will just flow right out of me. But, at this moment I can't see it quite that way.  It may take more than a few bushels of those leaves. I imagine myself being a huge overstuffed Panda.

But, the difference is that I can look to Jesus and say ...I want to change.  And I also want to forgive those who also have difficulty changing. 

My question now is: Why can't we figuratively start collecting our bushels now??

Would we stand before Jesus, and try to tell Him we were wronged, therefore we decided to join others to oppose a group we feel has severely wronged us.  Are we looking at it the way God would have us look at it??  Is it a true representation of 'grouping'??  Would we also like to be placed in a group, that does not really represent us??  Many would say that very thing has often happened.  But, something else also happens ...we join a hatred towards individuals, ignoring the evil that also draws us in??

Where did all these thoughts come from?? Well, September 2016 has inspired many thoughts ...and sadly more struggles amid a fraction of hope.  Yet, our hope should remain with God, and I need to continue to remind myself of this each time my concerns slip off focus.  I know there are times we feel compelled to do something, though we should follow the Holy Spirit in the direction we are to go.  These were my September reflections:

• In all walks of life, there are people we consider 'good' ...and there are people we consider not so good, perhaps even 'bad'.

So, yes, there are some cops (or as I refer to them, police officers) that become criminal ...yet, how many criminals become cops?? Yet, who do we find the most offence against?? Most cops work to minimize crime ...and do we then dislike their efforts more than those who live to disrupt our lives, often with violence??

Yes, when things turn out bad, people should be held accountable ...yet, just those involved, not the entire group of people. Streets do not have to become unsafe because of riots, and businesses do not have to be destroyed.

And while complaints and protests fuel anger ...we become the very thing we are often protesting against. We are therefore not being accountable ...and it is as if only 'we' matter, and our ideology should not be tainted by other opinions, often reasonable ones.

Is the United States of America becoming more like a fictional place called Thelona ...The Highly Esteemed Land Of No Accountability??

• Reflecting on yesterday ...this past week ...this year ...and 15 years ago ...also thinking about the future. 'American' means many things ...whether we salute the flag, or not ...it represents different things to different people. It may mean we look to the U.S. Constitution & the Founding Fathers' intentions ...or it may mean we just live here.
• On 9/11/2001, of the people who died at the World Trade Center ...it meant that they lived here, and worked here. One quarter of the people were Hispanic, black, or Asian/Pacific ...so, it was not a result of race. And 21% were born outside the 50 states. Nearly three dozen were Muslim men and women (who were not on the planes, but responsibly employed in the building) ...so, it may have been an act by extremists, but was not the religious belief of the majority. They died because they lived here.
• There were those who lived because of those who responded to the needs of those who live here. I salute them ...and I believe they are heroes. I consider them true Americans, though that is just my opinion. When I shed a tear when I see the images again, and see those who continue to serve those in need ...I am grateful, and it is them whom I consider 'American', serving in the spirit of unequaled dedication, and of whom I am proud of.

  When I look to the flag, and what 'American' represents, I do not see perfect unity void of problems ...but I also don't see those who justify violence in our streets, destroying businesses that pay taxes that our government uses to give hand-outs to some of the very ones who think their crimes should be ignored because they feel they should be seen not for their crimes, but for the smile they give while sporting an 'I got away with it' attitude, and 'I have those who love me and understand how I feel'.

  I am trying to tell it straight, because I do care about people ...and believe everyone should do as Jesus said, to love your neighbor.

  The very countries that support and fund what happened on 9/11, have a 'no tolerance' policy within their own ranks. And I'd think we'd appreciate those who help provide the good that our society gives.

• Still reflecting as I did on my last post about 9/11 ...as in the early morning hours of that day, just a few days ago, in our own state of Michigan ...violence erupted near Saginaw, directly affecting 5 individuals, their families, and many more.  How would you have responded??

Would you have taken the matter into your own hands, and how would that be ...if you are for gun control and don't have one, but one was being used to shoot the 5 individuals??

Would you say, "Oh, that's life!" and not let it bother you, as we are all just to accept what happens in life???

Would you say, "Forget my past anti-gun stance." & then go out and arm yourself to take it into your own hands?? Or would you stand firm to your beliefs, and let others deal with it ...by calling the authorities, as we would call 'the police'??

And if you think it is too much to risk dealing with yourself, it is perhaps even a risk to those law enforcement officers who have to go up against those who are also armed.

The outcome may not always be pretty. Not everyone knows all about their loved ones, or that they may have been involved. But, we don't usually have the resources to look into the truth of the matter, so we look to others to deal with it ...until the shock comes to us, that perhaps there was more to it than we thought, and perhaps closer to our own heart.

At that point do we still look to those to investigate the truth, or do we incite our emotions and perhaps those of others ...the truth not really mattering??

Yes, in life there are moments that are not at all acceptable ...yet, we strive to do better, never satisfied with less. But, 'better' should never move us to abandon that which we should be ...and go against the very things that we perhaps once felt we needed to maintain civility and (not perfect, but) improved society.

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• Some people find comfort in numbers ...

They think the 'same' as the majority, they believe the 'same', they behave the 'same'.

Other people have 'other' ideas, and though the majority may have a majority opinion that they themselves are wise, this 'other' group is often perceived as 'otherwise'.

I am one who looks to the One who often sets me apart from others ...because I believe in Him, and that He is wise. And though still others may not consider Him so, I believe He is always the 'same' ...yet, that is not saying the same as the majority, nor the same as you or me.

And even if the majority may join to agree on a strategy as to how to package the truth, often with their own twisting and turning of it ...I know I can find comfort in Him ...and Him alone.

But, it's more fun doing it together. Believe ...and let God bless!!!

• Many say that climate change & the neglect of our environment is our biggest threat ...and should be our biggest concern.

So, if we see a big corporation polluting one of our lakes or rivers, do we protest this injustice by dumping our own garbage in a river near our home??

And if that doesn't get enough attention, do we encourage everyone to dump their garbage into lakes and rivers??

Does one injustice warrant another?? Consider this Charlotte, North Carolina ...and others, as businesses are looted and property damaged. I understand how you may feel impatient to wait for justice, but consider if the business owner also feels impatient and decides to take it into his own hands because he feels nothing is being done.

Not a healthy cycle.

Do we want a return to the Wild West?? ...and when we 'support', there is also something to be said for those who protest peacefully among those who are not. (Could it be the same as an open container of alcohol in a car ...'guilt by association'??)